


Humans do have bulges

by Errorcode254



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Fluff, M/M, PWP, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Quadrant Confusion, Smut, mostly smut tho, tagged as underage because age not mentioned, tentaporn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2015-12-10
Packaged: 2018-05-06 00:04:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5395196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Errorcode254/pseuds/Errorcode254
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Your name is Karkat Vantas and there is one insufferable 'cool' kid that you kind of wish would lose his ability to speak. And move. And exist. The fact that he's in your lap means nothing. </i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Humans do have bulges

**Author's Note:**

> I had a lot of fun writing this. I happen to love writing first time davekat because I am obsessed with the confusion that must overtake the two when confronted with completely different genitalia.

Your name is Karkat Vantas and there is one insufferable 'cool' kid that you kind of wish would lose his ability to speak. And move. And exist. The fact that he's currently in your lap means nothing. 

You're in his room, sitting on his bed, and you're both half dressed, shirts long since discarded. He's in your lap, and you're honestly not sure what to expect. You've been with people before, but not a human. And if Kanaya is to be believed, they don't even have bulges. You shudder internally at the thought and try to focus on his lips brushing against yours. 

Your lips part when you feel his tongue against them, and your breathing gets a little heavier. His skin twitches beneath your fingers as you run them along his side. Your fingers aren't the only ones moving, and you register his fingers hooking under the band of your black jeans. Your bulge twitches at the thought of attention and your hands move down to grab his ass and pull him against you. He thrusts his hips, rutting against your groin and you can feel your bulge begin to unsheathe itself. 

His fingers fiddle with your jeans and the button pops open. Your lips are still on his when his fingers seek out your bulge. He gasps and pulls away, watching your writhing bulge for a moment before tentatively reaching his hand out to touch it. You suppose Kanaya must be right, that humans don't have bulges, because why else would he be so shocked about yours? 

You watch his eyes widen when your bulge wraps around the fingers that were stroking it, and you can't help but let out a slight moan. He dislodges his fingers and climbs out of your lap and you whimper slightly. You watch him as he pushes your legs apart, slides your jeans down, and settles between them, placing his hand firmly at the base of your bulge, and you have to admit, you're not hating him right now. 

Your eyes close when his hand moves over you and you bite your lip to stop yourself from mewling at the contact. You can feel his breath on your lower stomach, and your muscles tense at his proximity. When the tip of your bulge is enclosed in the wet warmth of his mouth, you can't stop it. Your bulge moves of its own accord, searching for more of that warmth. Your eyes open and you look down at him as your bulge worms its way further into his mouth, wriggling against his tongue and thrusting gently.

You moan and your fingers tangle into his hair. When you pull him off you, there's a slight trail of your genetic material seeping from the corner of his mouth, and your hands battle with his pants. 

And now it's your turn to hesitate. 

_Kanaya is a fucking liar._

Your eyes flick up to his for a second before you really start to explore his bulge. It's hard, and not wriggling. Your fingers trace over it and follow a vein up to a growth of hair, and hey, that's weird. It's not important now, though, so you copy his movements and wrap your hand around his bulge and move gently, only to quickly snatch your hand away when he hisses a breath through his teeth. Who knew you could hurt it? Yours doesn't hurt when people touch it. Humans are fucking weird. 

So you drop his bulge and move your hand down in search of his nook. His eyes widen and he makes a noise when you brush your finger over something. He freezes and watches you while you brush over it again. You discard his pants completely, planning to inform Kanaya later that she is a moron. Humans have bulges _and_ nooks. 

You pull him back into your lap, and your bulge wraps itself around his and you both moan at the contact. Your lips find his again as your bulge untangles from his and moves back to his nook. Your bulge spreads your fluid onto his nook, massaging him before slowly wriggling its way inside him. 

He freezes and your bulge stops moving until he relaxes a little and it begins to worm further inside him. He continues the kiss sloppily, his mind obviously on what your bulge is doing. By the time your bulge is completely inside his nook, you're both panting. He's thrusting against you and your bulge is writhing within his nook, pressing against him and exploring him. His moans get louder every time your bulge flicks forward, and you try to repeat the action. 

His fingers dig into your sides in response and his forehead leans on your clavicle. His breath is as stuttered as yours and your hand braves touching his bulge again. You're gentler this time, running your finger along it, confused for a minute when it doesn't twist itself around your forearm. You glance at his face and it's twisted into what looks like complete concentration. Your hand closes around his bulge and you move it toward the end of his length. 

He doesn't hiss at you this time and you take it to mean you're doing something right. You move again, still gentle, just a little faster and he moans. His nook tightens around you slightly, pulsing, and you groan against him. Your hand continues to move over him, almost frantically and you muffle your moans by biting your own lip. 

You can't help it. You thrust your hips upwards against him, forcing your writhing bulge harder against the walls of his nook. His body tenses against you and you worry that you hurt him. The hand that isn't currently on his bulge moves to his back in order to offer some kind of comfort. He pushes down on your bulge again and you can feel the muscles in his back flex as his body moves with the action. Your hips surge upwards as he pushes down and you can feel your genetic material spill inside his nook as his bulge starts to leak on your stomach. 

You freeze. 

“Oh, that's just fucking gross man. Did you seriously have to spill all over me?” You groan but do nothing to clean it up, too content in this moment to get all that pissed about a little genetic material. And it's not like there's that much of it. 

“Seriously? You're gonna bitch at me about that? At least I didn't come inside you. That shit feels gross.” He wiggles against you to prove his point, and your bulge slowly re-sheathes itself, but Dave doesn't try to move away from you. In fact, he seems to be snuggling closer. 

Your hand trails slowly up his spine, and right now, you don't hate him. You don't even find him insufferable. He's just Dave, the cool kid that's buried against you, nuzzling your neck.

**Author's Note:**

> Send me prompts at nopethefuckout.tumblr.com


End file.
